I am on the edge of a glorious, rocky cliff. It is terrifying and it is so new, so different, so overwhelming and so exhilarating all at once. I look down and there is glorious crystal clear aqua water below, my heart dances inside my chest and I step off.
There have been times when I have stood frozen in this same position, afraid to fail or afraid of getting hurt. Sure, I may hit the surface of the water the wrong way, or hit a rock on my way down. This is a risk that will never go away, but do I really want to stand at the top of that cliff forever? One of the most beautiful things I have learnt about life is that we truly do not know what tomorrow will bring.
No, we’re not promised tomorrow.
Standing on a cliff is an abstract metaphor for my life. Don’t fear, it is absolutely wonderful but oh my goodness am I taking a massive leap. I am selling my house and moving – sounds simple enough and yet it is soooo much bigger. I am bidding farewell to memories and a life that is no longer possible. I am finally screaming “this is not how my story ends”.
I am incredibly proud of myself for jumping off the cliff, taking a risk and writing a new chapter in my life. I am so far out of my comfort zone but seem to be handling it okay. I recently read that – Life begins at the end of your Comfort Zone. So, I am just chipping away at each issue and trying to deal with each obstacle and oh my goodness, am I taking a lot of very deep breaths. Sometimes it gets the better of me but then I breathe and think it is going to be okay. As the saying goes – feel the fear and do it anyway.
The first job at my house was to declutter. During the decluttering stage I experienced pain, uncertainty, many tears and joy all at once. There were times that I felt totally derailed and overwhelmed. I was forced to make decisions, let go and make room for the next phase. If you were a fly on the wall in my home you would have heard me say “just give me a minute” – not all decisions were easy and instantaneous. We simply started with one room or even smaller, one section at a time. It was baby steps at first and as each section, area or room was finished we celebrated and felt proud. This process was made so much easier with the help of my three sensational children and incredible parents.
The process reminded me of what is truly important in life. For me it is not possessions, it is not saving things for ‘special occasions’. The process of discarding has taught me that the things that bring me true joy are not things, but people. They’re not memories of the past. Don’t worry I still have photos, video footage and treasures but some possessions were lovingly donated to new homes. Each decision was carefully made with my children and they kept what they treasured and we sold or donated what they no longer needed. They were not easy decisions but they were very wise and healing decisions. It was interesting to witness that what others may think they should keep they didn’t and instead kept thing that have real meaning to them – especially items relating to their Dad.
In a way the ‘what’ to declutter was easier than the ‘why’. The ’why’ became clearer and clearer as I slowly felt the healing effects of letting go. We plunged into a decluttering frenzy and finished the entire simplification process quite rapidly. There is a certain indescribable freedom to the bliss of living minimalistic and I am happy to report I have no regrets.
In this period I also decluttered my life a little. I reduced commitments, I unsubscribed to emails, I made difficult but necessary decisions, I simplified my life and looked after myself.
Ultimately, it feels right. Everything is flowing, sometimes like a wild torrential rapid but still flowing. The best part is that my three children are 100% supportive. They have helped sort, pack and discard everything. They are ready, just like me, to start fresh. Fresh does not mean forgetting their Dad because he is always in our hearts but it means surrendering to a new phase, new adventure and new surroundings.
I believe that bravery isn’t something you have to get, it is something that you already are. So as I gracefully leap I am again reminded of my incredible strength. I know that I have achieved something amazing. I have let go of my fears, I have not just turned the page of my life but started a new and exciting book with blank pages ready to be filled with all sorts of colour and adventure. I will still cherish my beautiful memories always but I now have a new relationship with myself and this leap is about me saying “yes”, yes to whatever today brings and the future holds. Yes Yes Yes Yeeeeesssssss!
Life happens in the moments after your feet push-off the ledge and you give up control – this is the power of surrender. I trust the magic of new beginnings. I feel safe and am enjoying the glorious feeling and excitement of a splendid future.
Think less, do more and jump – you will build your wings on the way down Ray Bradbury