You miss your alarm, the hot water runs out, you can’t find anything to wear, you still haven’t heard from that guy you like, that outfit just does not look as good as you thought it would, you get stuck in traffic……..and you go on to have an amazing, happy day.
Wait – what? Is that even possible?
For a long time, my answer was absolutely not. I let circumstance dictate my mood. I allowed external people or events change whether I had a good or bad day or more importantly how I felt. I am predominantly a positive, optimistic, happy person with a bright outlook of life, but I am still very human. Silly things can sometimes throw me off balance and can unwittingly alter my mood.
Let’s be honest the string of unfortunate events I listed above are more than enough to make most people have a somewhat less than perfect day. So what is the secret?
First let’s look at what makes people happy. It seems that most people think they will be happy when they achieve their goals. This could be when you are at an ideal weight or an attractive man asks you out on a date or you get a promotion or your day just runs according to plan. So what happens when these things don’t happen? From first hand experience my mood and general happiness would previously change. I would feel depleted, disappointed, and just plain lousy. It is okay to be sad, angry, upset – it is okay to feel. Just don’t live there. Positive people have negative thoughts too, they just don’t let them grow and destroy them.
Of course it is natural to sometimes feel a little depleted however I have put a very definite stop to saying to myself, “I’ll be happy WHEN……………”. I find this type of talk means that I am unintentionally sentencing myself to long periods of unhappiness – just waiting. We all need goals but our happiness should not be dependent on them. I understand that our lives might not be ideal or exactly how we would like them to look but there is an incredible power in seeing the good and what is right about our lives and not what is lacking.
“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life” – Mark Twain
I don’t want to wait to be happy when ………. I want to be happy now.
So what happens when I achieve a goal? I find that as wonderful as it is, unfortunately, this kind of goal-oriented happiness is fleeting. As tennis star Andre Agassi said, “The moment of victory is too short to live for.”
I have the power to decide to be happy every single day no matter what the circumstance. I am spending more and more time feeling a deep sense of contentment, simply because I choose to. Negative circumstances still happen with challenges that I need to overcome but they no longer dictate my mood – the majority of time anyway.
This may all sound a bit like a contradiction because I always say that negative emotions build resilience and should be felt, acknowledged and not hidden. I do strongly believe this, however today I am just talking about the fact that we get to choose how we see our day. We choose how we show up in the world. We choose how to respond.
You may have noticed that I have danced around this topic many times over the years, however this time it seems to have cemented quite firmly. I have amazing rituals, practices and healers in my life but I do not need to explain my philosophies or practices to you, I just need to embody them. So each day, I wake up with an attitude of gratitude and during the day I listen to my own intuition, my own inner knowing and just be me.
The simple truth is this; if you think happy thoughts they grow and if you think negative thoughts they grow.What you put out to the universe, you get back. What thoughts do you want to grow? Seems like a no brainer to me.
I am a willing and enthusiastic student in life. I am challenged with wake-up calls, triggers and opportunities to learn and relearn concepts. Each lesson takes me to a richer deeper level of understanding and bit by bit I continue to consciously evolve. It is a truly delicious aspect of this human experience and I am experiencing the immense benefits and joy in my life daily.
The bottom line is that I can’t control the traffic, I can’t control someone else’s behaviour, I can plan as much as I like but sometimes when life doesn’t go the way I thought, then I just need to surrender, breath, follow the flow and you never know, that unexpected turn may end up being the best thing ever. You can only really control your reaction, your thoughts and how you perceive the situation.
So yes, it is possible to still have a sensational day when you have a somewhat crazy morning. I do not sweat the small stuff or allow small incidences to dampen my mood or happiness. Having this choice is quite a revolution to me. I have always believed in choosing how to cope with grief or an illness but to extend that to every aspect of my life no matter how minute is just glorious.
I decide how I react or let things impact me, I decide the energy that I bring into a room, I decide on my mood and the impact I have on those around me. I know this may seem very basic to some, however at times it is just so easy to let someone or something else run the show when really we should get to decide for ourselves.
As you may know I am BIG on letting go and believe in the power of releasing what doesn’t serve me and this is a perfect example of that. The big lesson is to just enjoy this day, be grateful for this moment and stop waiting for the future to happen. I am wholeheartedly saying yes to life and living each day with intention.
Look outside and enjoy the full moon tonight in all of its magnificent glory.