Interesting title isn’t it? You may be thinking it is not a very inspirational topic. Don’t worry I agree, but who would have thought that a lounge could be so emotionally charged.
Today is my 21st Wedding Anniversary. I could have said “would have been” but I decided not to. My husband may not be alive in a physical sense but he still plays a large part in our lives. Surprisingly it is not in a holding us back way but knowing him continues to enrich and enhance our lives. My children witnessed firsthand what a true connection between two people in a marriage looks like. They witnessed what a father looks like who gives you the greatest gift – his time. They shared laughter, fun, cheekiness and most importantly they saw and experienced unconditional love.
I continue to experience feelings of grief and loss, which is totally understandable considering the type of marriage I had. Pain is part of being truly alive and I choose to be present with it today. I have learnt to find comfort in uncomfortable times. I will heal, and I will not become bitter and hateful. I love myself too much to close out the world over some pain. Today I share this story with you as a great reminder that the events that unfold in your life are irrelevant, it is how you react and respond to them that matters the most.
My latest struggle was with my lounge. You see, my husband and I enjoyed a weekly date night every Friday in our lounge room while our young children slept. So this lounge is more than a lounge. It is however looking rather dilapidated and worn and it really needs replacing. I think when the stuffing starts falling out of the seams it has seen better days, don’t you think? So I experienced an emotional dilemma of wanting to hold onto it but knowing that I needed to let it go (Yes – I understand the symbolism).
In keeping with our strong tradition of celebrating each moment, tonight my now teenage children and I are going to light candles, enjoy some Thai takeaway, say goodbye to this lounge and celebrate our anniversary. The lounge is going but not the bond. When we finish eating I am going to sit on my own, remembering the fun filled times and gently say thanks with a grateful heart to my husband for being a true warrior in my life. Pain is inevitable, yet suffering is optional and I am the luckiest girl in the world for sharing some of my life with this beautiful soul. With this knowledge and with a sense of surrender I will live the rest of my life with joy, savouring each moment and allow my heart to be open and love in the only way I know – wildly passionate and Big.
With each breath, each word I write, and each tear that falls, I create a little more space inside me for the light to shine.