Hands up if you are Emotionally Intelligent

I find Emotional Intelligence fascinating. What is it exactly you might be asking?

According to Psychology TodayEmotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is:

“The ability to accurately identify your own emotions, as well as those of others.

The ability to utilise emotions and apply them to tasks, like thinking and problem-solving.

The ability to manage emotions, including controlling your own, as well as the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.”

There have been countless books, research articles and studies conducted to discuss this fascinating topic. The term Emotional Intelligence became widely known with the publication of Daniel Goleman’s book: Emotional Intelligence – Why it can matter more than IQ (1995).

Being a student of life and fascinated by human behaviour I love strengthening and growing my skills in this area. I think it is about being self-aware, motivated, self-regulated and having social skills to display empathy and concern for others and of course it is also about being vulnerable.

If you want to understand vulnerability there is no one who discusses vulnerability better than Brené Brown. In her TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability, she explains how embracing our imperfections raises our self-awareness. I recorded the audio of this talk many years ago and play it often on my phone to remind myself of the magic of being vulnerable. This also helps me to reflect on myself regularly, recognising my strengths but also as a reminder that perfection is not what I am striving for. I am flawed with insecurities, with dark and light sides, I struggle with feeling unlovable. I forget that I am a magnificent feminine goddess because quite frankly life gets in the way. But all of that is okay because I like the ups and downs of life. I like the highs and lows because they teach me how to identify with my different emotions, they teach me how to relate to others and they remind me that I am real.

Emotionally Intelligent people take a few deep breaths to think before reacting, and thus respond much better to challenging situations. They are comfortable saying no, and lead well-balanced lives.They are highly productive, effective and positive about life, and don’t allow people or situations to bring them down. They adapt quickly to situations, aren’t afraid of change and are curious about life and what it has to offer. I am therefore enthusiastically throwing both arms up and saying ‘Hell Yes‘ to being Emotionally Intelligent. I may not be there yet but I am committed to putting in the time and work because I think being Emotionally Intelligent rocks!

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6 Replies to “Hands up if you are Emotionally Intelligent”

  1. I find it very self-affirming and confidence boosting when I read posts like this that so closely mirror my own take on life.

    I’ll quickly put one arm up and say ‘Me Too!’ based on the feedback I’ve had from others (I get told that I have a calm and peaceful energy) and the fact that I’ve been through so much (survived a difficult labour, thought I had MS which turned out to be EDS, PoTS, FND and a few other things besides). Becoming variably disabled and accepting the added stuff in my house. Highly likely to also have Asperger’s (but still waiting on a formal assessment).

    Having said all that, there are times when I’m just plain emotionally thick! I seem to swing effortlessly between sensitive and oblivious. We’re complex beings, are we not?

    Best wishes to you and thankyou for making your thoughts visible to us. You are a pretty rockin’ goddess, dear lady.

  2. Thank you for your gorgeous comment. It doesn’t always feel like it but challenges sure do make us stronger don’t they? And yes I totally agree with you – we are complex beings on an endless exploration discovering who we truly are. Thanks again and my thoughts are with you X Melissa

  3. Love this Mel. Somedays the EQ is there and some days it’s not! I always find your posts a reminder to stop and reflect before going forward. Always learning. Thank you. X Jo

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