I am happy to admit that I have watched my fair share of romantic comedies (romcoms). I especially love the ones where a couple start out as friends and end up as much more in the end. When I was younger I loved ‘When Harry meet Sally’ and then progressed to ‘The Holiday”, ‘Just go with it’, ‘He’s just not that into you’, ‘Valentines’s Day’, ‘The Ugly Truth’, ‘Friends with Benefits’ or even the Jane Austen classic ‘Emma’. All of these movies and more made me fall in love with the notion of falling in love with your best friend. For a while this fairy-tale had come true for me – At midnight on New Years Eve I kissed my best friend and a year later was engaged and married him.
It is sometimes a little hard to jump out of these fairy-tales and accept the reality of my actual life. There are times that I miss my fairy-tale ending and would love to have it back but I know I need to find the joy or fairy-tale ending within me. In the words of Joseph Campbell “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” This means being responsible for my own adventure and ultimately being responsible for my own happiness.“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.” It is actually about being the leading lady in my new life and new adventure. Watch my favourite scene from ‘The Holiday’ to see what I mean.
Favourite line in a movie – “You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life for God’s sake“
In contrast when Tom Cruise said to Renee Zellweger “You complete me” in ‘Jerry Maquire’ it melted our hearts but I am beginning to learn that we need to complete ourselves. We shouldn’t need someone else to complete us, we should be complete as we are. I need to be the hero of my own life, the leading lady, the one who fills my love tank. It is so very easy to rely on someone else to boost our ego or make us feel whole. The overwhelming emptiness that I sometimes feel is more than the vacancy left by my late husband. It is more about a lack of self-love.
Is it possible that true love was always inside of me? Can I feel fulfilled, treasured and magnificent on my own?
Well I intend to find out.
“True love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.” – Unknown
I have been working hard on developing an attitude for gratitude. I will forever be grateful that I experienced my own fairy-tale and I know my children will always have firsthand knowledge of what a marriage can look like. Now my job is to show them that I can be the leading lady in my life. My next job is to work out what my soundtrack would be!