It was fear that made me keep his toothbrush next to mine and fear that kept his clothes hanging in the wardrobe and fear that made selling his car so difficult. I was fearful that if I let go of these things I would let go of him. It was a sad and an overwhelming feeling that my husband was not returning.
Then one day when the time was right for me I began to slowly pack up all of my late husbands clothes. There were many items of clothing which were special to the children and I and we wanted to keep them and so I thought about making a quilt with them. The next day, I was talking to my hairdresser about this, and by chance the lady waiting for the next appointment mentioned that she made patchwork quilts. She said she would be honoured to make the children and I a quilt from our favourite items of clothing. The same lady was the first person who told me about the benefits of removing sugar from my diet. In addition, I travel thirty minutes to my hairdressers and yet this lovely lady lived in the next street from me.
This is my quilt. The children designed their own quits with items of clothing and photos that are special to them. It is funny that the shirts that I would say to John “please wear something else, I am sick of that shirt” are the ones that hold pride of place on my quilt.
My next dilema was what to do with the remainder of his clothes. I knew I wanted to make a difference to someones life with the clothes but didn’t know how. Then, while doing a walk to my daughters school a mum was talking about a wonderful charity called Dress for Success who had just started catering for men. They promote economic independence for disadvantaged men and women by providing professional attire, a network of support and the career development tools to help them thrive in work and in life. I joyfully donated the remainder of my husbands beautiful suits, shirts, ties and shoes to Dress for Success and am now privileged to continue to do volunteer work with them.
Sorting out a loved ones clothing is difficult but I will always be grateful for the people who appeared in my life to make this process easier. As soon as I let go of my fear everything just seemed to flow naturally with ease.
A surprising discovery was that as I let go of the physical items I remained just as close and connected. The discovery that my husband remains in my heart forever is the most powerful and uplifting feeling and one that gives me an enormous amount of comfort.
I now understand that these chance meetings were classic examples of synchronicity. Carl Jung popularised the term “synchronicity” – it is a meaningful coincidental occurrence of events. Once we begin to notice and welcome synchronicity into our lives, life becomes more interesting and rewarding. We start to meet the right people at the right time. I have come to trust synchronicity in my life. If one or more things all seem to conspire against me, preventing me from doing something then I listen to those signs. I pause for a few minutes and reflect on what the universe is trying to tell me. Today I met with a wonderful lady who I had recently met at a well being conference. She taught me about kinesiology and then lent me a wonderful book to read. At home on a business card another person had written this same book down and recommended I read it – I know I am supposed to read this book. I have numerous examples of this happening and I now enjoy paying more attention to little synchronous happenings in my life, like when the phone rings and it’s the right person at the right time or when I am thinking of someone and run into them or when a book appears, to give me knowledge or when I need to learn something and a wonderful person comes into my life to teach me.